The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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