I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
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She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
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Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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