Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
