Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
