can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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