i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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