I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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