glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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