Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
