Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
