The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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