The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
