on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
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No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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