"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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