we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
