Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
