He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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