Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
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youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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