Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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