I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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