I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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