I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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