I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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