fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
