I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
