btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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