I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its about making memories worth repressing
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize