I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
