I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
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I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
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My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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