u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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