My nipple is on Facebook.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize