Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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