Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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