i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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