Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
