I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
