i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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