Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
