on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
