it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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