yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
