I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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