sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
