She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
