All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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