I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
