Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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