Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
