what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
