it wasn't lemon gatorade
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
