We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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