I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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