she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
