maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
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i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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