sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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