Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
