So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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