Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
