It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
